Jesus Christ, Herbal Supplement

Are you looking for more out of your life? Does the fact that you have so much more stuff than most in the world get you down? Are you depressed when you flip through your 100 channels of force-fed entertainment and still can’t find anything worth watching? Are you looking for a community of people that will accept you for the self-seeking, pitiful wretch that you are?

Then try Jesus Christ, the Herbal Supplement. We’ve spent hours and hours working our tails off to bring you the help you need. If you put Jesus in your life you can reach those dreams that seemed to linger so far out on the horizon. All it takes is just a little bit of time each week, and you’re made complete.

First off, we want you to come to church. Here at church you will be met by friendly faces that we’ve told to greet you and by good music we’ve put together especially for you so you can sit back and enjoy without having to do anything. And maybe there will even be a message about how Jesus will make your life all that you wanted it to be. We are very interested in making the environment at church comfortable and the most convenient experience imaginable. If you don’t come back, it’s our fault! Come sit with countless others who are wanting to experience the same…together! Let the church meet your whims.

Second, we want you to read a little bit of the Bible each day. We’ve even written up a reading guide checklist so you can get just enough to fit in five minutes, and only the parts that we think really mean anything to you. It is all about you, after all. We want you to have all the pious indications that you are growing spiritually. Checklists can be fun!

Third, we want you to tell others how you got everything you ever wanted by taking Jesus Christ, the Herbal Supplement. We call this “Evangelism”. Tell them that their every dream and aspiration will come true! Families will suddenly enjoy each other’s company at holiday gatherings. Sex will be more exciting. Your kids will leap to their feet to clean their rooms and pick up the hair they leave clogging the bathtub drains. Your pets will even clean up their own pee on the carpet! You can get ahead of the Jones’ when you take Jesus Christ, the Herbal Supplement.

What more could you want? It’s all about you, anyway. There’s no commitment involved that would take you out of the way of your busy life. There’s no easier pill to swallow.

When you want more out of your life, take Jesus Christ, the Herbal Supplement.

…

I hope that my readership senses the extreme “tongue-in-cheek” in my story. I also hope you feel the extreme disgust I have when I encounter churches like this. My parody may be a little over the top, but at the core it communicates a real concern I have.

I watch so many portrayals of Jesus Christ as the missing ingredient you add to your life to make it better. Of course, “Better” means fulfilling the desires of our Western narcissism. Everything is about us. If it feels good, it must be “better”. If it gets us more money, a bigger house, more prestige, more friends, it must be “better”. Follow Jesus because then you’ll have the perfect family, the perfect career, the perfect marriage, hey! even the perfect score on your ACT! But Jesus seemed to have a much different perception of himself and his purpose. Observe:

Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them
“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.”
- Luke 14:25-33

When we think that to be a disciple of Jesus “gets us all we want” we are Inconsistent at best, and wicked at worst. He had a lot of people following him around who were curious. But, wasn’t afraid to push buttons by pointing out how lackluster their level of commitment was. He told them that it was a waste of time to try and follow him if they held tightly to their own comfortable lives and didn’t consider the price he was demanding of them. Don’t bother. You don’t even know what it what I’m talking about!

Harsh? It could be taken that way. Thought provoking? Most definitely! It is a disservice to tell people that Jesus most importantly wants to be our buddy. True, he speaks often of the friendship he desires with his followers, but doesn’t true friendship have a level of challenge? Are we so shallow that we only surround ourselves with “yes” sayers to soothe our consciouses? Or do we remember how painful it is to grow?

What is Jesus’ point in challenging people to give everything up? Give it up to who? Can you give things up with the wrong motive? Observe a quick story he told:

“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.” - Matthew 13

This person didn’t sell everything he had to fulfill some blind duty. He didn’t have a checklist to follow. He found something more valuable than everything he had! Furthermore, in his joy he went and hawked it all away to be able to buy that field. Could it be that the reason we pop the Herbal Jesus pill comes from completely missing what is truly valuable in our lives?

In churches, when we give people this “herbal gospel” message, we are basically neglecting to tell them about the treasure in the field. We lead them to the brink of finding the treasure and tell them, “Well, you’ve arrived. Thanks for coming and we’ll see you next week.” What a damning thing to do.

This Jesus Christ, the Herbal Supplement we are selling is a terribly addictive drug. We push it and tell people that this is the essence of God. Deep inside some wonder if this is what God really meant, but they are dulled by all the pretty programs and subtle comforts lulling them to sleep. Again and again. What a tragedy.